I lost you, but even now I still love you
by AzureEnding
Summary: He was powerless to protect her, he in time moved on but even near death all he can say is her name. One-shot


**A/N I can't believe ALMOST NO ONE actually liked this paring enough to write a fan fic about it…really I liked the paring until well….Yeah but anyway I wanted to pay homage to the paring so I'm writing this, which was actually inspired by the game itself and the song Dear agony by breaking Benjamin **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

"_Faina…"_

Her name was something he ether said or thought of when his strength ran out; he'd remember her, when he was near death her name would be like a lullaby to bring him closer to where she was…waiting for him.

He failed her he really did, it was as if when he said her name he knew he was close to being with her, even when he had someone he loved, it didn't change the fact that deep down even before her death he may have _fallen_ for **her**.

She promised to anything, which may have been why he felt so bad about it that when it came to it when she really needed him, he couldn't do anything for her he _**promised **_to save her whenever she was in trouble and he **failed** he may have moved on physically, but mentally he was still grieving he never got over it made sense really the one person who _was just like him_ died in vain, she _loved_ **him** and maybe along the way he knew it he probably felt it along the way he wanted to cherish it she said _**anything**_ and he wanted to keep that promise, his thoughts may have been clouded by teenage lust, but who could blame someone who had never had friends, she was just like him, she didn't have much all but a brother, Capell had nothing, yet even still both had been close in the time they spent he told her his most regarded secret and what she said made it much easier to know she wasn't going to look down on him or resent him or tell the others it made him want to _**protect her**_

"_Knowing that makes me feel much closer to you"_ She spoke those words to him she wanted him to open up to her and he did, she told him she _liked _him he never got a chance to give her an answer, one she deserved maybe he himself wanted to tell her how he felt about her, but even after everything _**he **__**never **__got _the **chance**.

"_I finally found someone I love"_

The final words she spoke to him, even now still haunt him, he lost her, he couldn't _protect her,_ his mistake; he called her brother over, he wanted to get him out of there **quickly** then _**they**_ attacked, Aya couldn't see _**them**_, he couldn't hurt _**them**_ that was if not the most agonizing part was that he was _powerless_ to save her no matter how much he struggled no how much he wanted to do anything to _**save her**_, the worst part was even when she said her final words he knew she meant him, but even then he could do nothing, she was gone before he could say another word.

What he felt _**hatred**_ what he wanted more than anything _**revenge**_, but above all _**to have her back…to see her face again, **_he may have moved on from her but his heart is **chained **to her no matter who may _possess _it'll always stay chained to her, because even if it's been days months, even years after her death all he can ever say when he's near the end is her name, not the name of his father not Aya, not the name of anyone of his other friends but her name, uttered softly accompanied with _sorry_, he was truly sorry, in the end maybe the only way he thinks he'd be forgiven is in death when he can _finally_ be with her again

"_She__ didn't deserve it"_

It was true they didn't Faina didn't truth be told, he wanted nothing more than to be with her and apologize over and over again the inner turmoil brought him closer to the end even when his true age wasn't even in his mid twenties he hurt, he lost the first person to say they loved him, he lost his first _**true**_ family, before he knew of his true origins the agony of it all did he deserve to live with the burden?

In truth maybe he _wanted_ to die, maybe he wanted to go with them that day, maybe he wanted to sacrifice himself instead of them what a idiotic thought he wanted to save **them** be with **them** but he **failed** he _promised_,_ swore _to protect them and what did he get in the end.

"_I love you"_

Stung wouldn't be the best word to describe it, heartbreak maybe resentful obviously but he wanted nothing more than to destroy everything that involved _her_ death maybe even go as far as to end the lives of the friends he obtained but, did he, _would_ he, never but that didn't stop him from dreaming of her, that didn't stop him from being enraged when that word of what caused her death was brought up because **none** of them understood how he felt.

Fallen for her he did, loved her you might even say, but the sheer anger he felt when he lost her proved it, he did love her, and he lost her which is what killed him the most, one day he'll have her back, one day he'll be able to hold her the way he wished he had, one day the **agony **will end and he'll be able to tell her that **he** _loves_ **her.**

**A/N My first one-shot of a story but this one I HAD to do since I just recently got the game again and remembered her death, sad but even still nothing can change it maybe I'll write an actual story about if that's what the people want, I truly felt bad for her as a character who wanted nothing more than to be with him, even knowing the danger I respect that, but the fact that she wanted to say she loved him knowing she was dying and he couldn't save her must've been the worst part about it.**


End file.
